Caitlin Mcgeorge
C-Section
You raised me and so I am light with my words with my wants but
I want to talk heavy
Let me tell you about the settled, hidden, monstrous parts of myself
I want you to listen and absorb, take this weight
If I split myself down the middle will you look and see that I am not good all the way through
I’ll show you my anger and I won’t say a single self-deprecating thing to soften it
If I stick my head out the window of a speeding car and yell it into the wind
Or burn my throat with salt when I scream it into the sea
Will you ask me to repeat myself
Or will you wonder at the bubbles on the surface
I might have to do it with my eyes closed
Or in the car, like when I came out
I cried then because I am so good at avoiding truths about myself that might shock you
Like the first time I shaved my legs and didn’t tell you but you knew
I’d had to use a plaster so you knew
Maybe if I come home bandaged you’ll ask me what’s wrong and I can say
It is so heavy treading lightly
Caitlin McGeorge is originally from Tauranga, but has made Tāmaki Makaurau her home for the past three years while completing her physiotherapy degree. She enjoys hockey, reading, collage and solo dance parties.