Sascha Letica
the boy
’His&Hers’
THE BOY
ambiguously referring to him as ‘the boy’ which
really means he’s the love of my life. his friends
tell me how much he misses me, as in he’s so
in love with me he holds it in his closed fists
until it suffocates. he doesn’t tell me. burning the
candle at both ends, throwing up in the shower,
counting the breadcrumbs left behind like a trail
to happiness. i think about casual sex with him.
slow, and lazy, shifting bones and muscles in the
bedroom that shares a wall with the living room.
i couldn’t do it casually. the cross chimes in my ears
like a bell extolling my sins. i want to be loved first.
putting my finger to his lips and saying ‘be quiet’
which means don’t tell anyone i said you’re the most
beautiful person alive when the morning sun cracks
through the blinds and stripes a line across your face.
i lie to myself and say i don’t miss him. as in, i don’t
miss you i just regret not saying anything and not
asking you to stay.
GREEK BOY
my beautiful boy, you are like
paris and my heart is helen. you took
me over the sea and told me not to cry
but that is like telling the trojans
to turn the gift away. once i loved
watching it swirl away with the tide,
and i leave agamemnon behind to follow
the whisper of my words. chasing a
dream like odysseus, my beautiful boy,
but in my bones sits the shadow of penelope
who waits, faithfully, for when her gods
say it is time. when is it my time? when
hades comes and takes my hand, and changes
my name to eurydice, and tells you that
you can never look back. wearing the mask
of orpheus but i know that you would look
back, because i don’t know if you love me
enough to look forward. when they told
paris to choose, he chose love. helen loved
agamemnon but maybe she didn’t love
him, my beautiful boy, enough not to leave.
Sascha Letica can be found writing poetry when she’s not out running, sleeping after running, or trying to cram in all her schoolwork she didn’t do because she went for a run. Amongst other things, she enjoys poetry because it’s almost the exact opposite of running (and opposites attract).