Bella Sexton
Other Lives
In the days when we lived
in the place we began
there was always
something stolen: keys,
sick leave, strong opinions.
Now we live in strange places
details easily forgotten;
we pour ourselves into patterns
just to remember our names.
One night the moon lay
in a trap behind us. It was easy
to get caught there, motion stilled
in lamplight, the street
stretched out in a painting.
It was then I started
to imagine other lives,
as I’ve been prone to doing.
I imagined them,
and there was so much.
Renewal
In the short part of the afternoon, you climb the rocks beside the beach. You can’t hear anything but the wind and the gulls. You watch everything below. Watch the cousins play games, the imprint the ball leaves in the sand when it falls. The last of the surfers waiting on their boards, the waves rising slow from the flat blue. The sun always moving. The clouds pulling long across a static sky. It’s all so distant, but it’s happening now.
On the train ride, you say nothing. You and your friend sit side by side and read your books. The words slide in and out of focus. You bookmark the page with your ticket and push the book into your bag. You stare out at the countryside, twist your ring around your forefinger. Pull it off and put it in your left pocket. You take it out of the pocket and push it back onto your finger. Blood rushes to the nail, the surrounding skin turning pink and puffy. It rushes and rushes. You say nothing at all.
When you dive into the sea, you remember how you used to think it was made of lemonade. You think it again now. Not because of the colour, or because of how it moves. The cold is quick to close around your body. When you surface, you grin wide with all your teeth. You scoop foam into your hands, the bubbles popping without a sound. Water tears at the space you take up, howling loud. The current drags. You widen your stance, dig your toes in the sand, and howl back.
Bella Sexton (she/her) is from Wellington, but now lives near the Cairngorms in Scotland. You can find more of her writing in Sweet Mammalian, takahē, Tarot and Flash Frontier.