Pippi Jean
Lorde Lyrics
in low definition moving over deserted beach
by the bright yellow walkways of houses
with the lights still on. the water still
and silent. the water judgement.
the water limbo. water watching.
i have been leaning into not being scared
and having friends at my shoulder. flicker
of torchlight over the cliff, between the shrub,
a proposition, warning, lying in waiting.
we’re coming for you. hear that thrum
through the headland?
swinging out from the overhang. crumbled
stone hauled up to knees. a tunnel felt through
to the surface. boys i recognise becoming
kinder, faces bright and unlurking,
pulsing grainy red heart of the cavern
locked in the cliff under a swathe of bush
launching up to a smooth shade of grey stars.
panoramic night-time. laying head back
on the tidal rock with my friends,
knees pushing against their knees,
grimy white smear of the flash in the photo,
silhouettes we don’t know. stargazing.
getting rid of ourselves. and
it feels like being chosen.
Muddy
i have loved you since i was scared of you, scared for you, scared from you, since you hurt and hid at the noise, i was small and wild-haired and screaming, swapped notes when i was not allowed to speak, you drew, people all over the pages of your maths book, pencil eyes, faces, you would draw chins uplifted and a dip where they were pursing their mouths, we stood on the tables in maths class and called out wrong answers, i loved you there, quite near to the ceiling, desk legs wobbling and all the pencils running away at our feet, but not fiercely enough, i loved you as the bell threatened to ring in the warm blanket fuzz of three o’clock and my head dropped to your shoulder, hearing everyone else pack away, but not fiercely enough, i loved the chalk creatures, winnowing down of story we used to tangle out at night-time, smell of the sunshine in your parents’ house, i loved you, but never fiercely enough, not until you had gone and been away for a very long time, and the weather had faded and fences had weathered and leaves fallen off, and now i have loved you backward, all the way from when our mothers met through an ex-husband’s bandmate’s wife before either of us were born, back from before my words were, and come for a moment to meet you in your grown-up university dorm in the space at the end of this sentence
Pippi Jean isn't seventeen anymore and loves that she gets to vote now. She has been published in Landfall, Takahē, Flash Frontier, Poetry New Zealand Yearbook, NZ Poetry Shelf, Signals, Overcommunicate Magazine and the last edition of Starling. Recently she was defeated quite horribly in laser tag by her brother and has sworn eventual vengeance.