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Caroline Shepherd

Love/Jokes


I wish I could tell you about this dream I had where you and I started a band
and I wrote all these songs about the way you put your shoes on

or the one where I dreamed your dog learnt to ski and died in an accident
blood on the poles, and I woke up crying

sickly furious at you for letting your dog ski
among other things.

I used to think you were sexy in a funny way
only I told you this once and you didn’t see it right, not like proof of you and me

you thought I was making fun, called me a bitch at that gas station
and I caught the bus home in the dark, crying and not calling you.

I only meant that love is nothing if not funny to me.
Only things that make me laugh can stay, and you did, so I thought for sure,

shorts at graduation, sitting on escalators, keys tied through your jeans loop
your voice shivering through me at every party: all those jokes just for me

I found it all hysterical, you hysterical,
sat up in the dark, still sick with sea-blue adoration for you.

Anyway, anyway. I keep it all to myself. Even the dog thing.
I was made for laughing. I’ll do it again.


Caroline Shepherd is a Masters student at Victoria who has been published in Mimicry, The Spinoff and Stasis. Her license is about to expire.