Melissa oliver
I & We
I will surge
like the Aratiatia Power Station
three to four times a day.
I can implode without warning.
Stay out of the spillway,
the undercurrent of my grief is too strong,
I will dominate the landscape
cutting through our whenua.
The waters are turbulent.
It is an occupational hazard
of the profession
when this grief is a requirement.
I am still trying to recover
from the exhaustion
of being alive,
given to me at birth.
My mother and I feel the same.
I see her in my eyes,
the shape of my nose,
the temper at the root of my soul.
We shall implode without warning.
We are still trying to recover
from the exhaustion of feeling
everything all at once.
We are still trying to reconcile
what was passed down
mother to daughter
carried by the currents.
We are waiting to surge.
Melissa Oliver (Ngāti Porou) is from Te Matau-a-Māui but now lives in Te Whanganui-a-Tara where she works at Unity Books. You can find her previous work in Starling Issue 12.